One of the hardest things in a relationship is talking about money.  Each person has their own views on the subject and as you start to get serious about the relationship, your finances tend to merge.

It’s really all about different perspectives and how we view our family finances.

Here’s what I learned about money from my wife.

It’s okay to be different

I love rewards, as a result I charge everything I can do my credit cards.  Whenever I was out with my wife it would drive me mental when she would pay cash, I thought to myself, those were valuable points we were missing out on! One day I asked her straight up why she wasn’t using credit so we could get the points?  Her answer was incredibly simple; cash kept her spending in check.

Sure we weren’t getting any points but my wife had a budgeting system that worked for her and there were no issues about her spending so I really had nothing to complain about.

money from my wife

A book for women

I’ve got a few go to books that I recommend to people who are interested in personal finance but sometimes it still turns people off. My wife knew that finances should be a subject couples are comfortable talking about so she searched for a book that spoke to her as a woman.

The Woman’s Guide to Money by Kelley Keehn was the book my wife found and she describes it as “a book that not only provides the basic tips for saving money like pay yourself first, setting up a shopping account, etc., but it also taps into the attitudes and feelings toward money through exercises meant for women reading the book.”  Although in her opinion, these exercises are just as good for men too.

If you’re a new couple and are looking to learn about personal finance together I recommend trying Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach.  Bach has written quite a few books in his “Finish Rich” series but this one obviously speaks to couples together.

→Related: The Top Personal Finance Books for Canadians

Women spend more

Once I got married I quickly learned how expensive it is to be a woman.  Tampons, makeup, bras, tights and nail polish are just a few things that most men will never need to buy but are pretty standard for women.  There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look and feel good but it definitely requires a higher budget than a typical man.

I don’t want to sound sexist but I think it’s safe to assume that most women own more pairs of shoes than men.  After 4 years of marriage I’m still amazed at how many pairs of shoes my wife “needs” but I’ve learned to just accept it.

Having open discussions about money is one of the most important things in a relationship.  What have you learned from your spouse?

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